journey into the unknown.

ever since i was a little girl, no joke, i've wanted to be a "worker." it was my dream. the stories of lives lived in total surrender to God, the things God did through imperfect people, and the far off-ness of it all intrigued me. i know now that He was preparing my heart for something that was so beyond myself.

i love to think about living in another country, for the sole reason of spreading the Good News. doesn't it intrigue you? to live in a completely different place, away from the norms of American life, heart abandoned to living only for the glory of God.

here comes the game i play. knowing all this, presents a problem in my controlled, self centered, safe life. "but God, i own a house." Trust Me. "but, i have a really good stable job." Trust Me. "but God, what will everyone think?" Trust Me.

over and over again, i throw excuses His way. He created my heart. He knows it breaks every time i think of my students. He knows how i long to not live here in this safe life anymore. He also slaps His hand to His forehead every time i give him a "but God...."

i'm learning (have been for quite some time) that trusting Him is the greatest factor of life. i have to trust He has not only just me in His mighty hands, but the WHOLE WORLD as well. i have to trust that He can see my future. most of all, i must trust, that He will never leave me to figure it out on my own.