the family you choose

sometimes, you just want to be somewhere else (am i right?) living a different life than the one you currently live. for me, i would love to be strolling the streets of Madagascar telling everyone in sight about Jesus. that is where i would love to be...at this exact moment. however, even though that time will be here soon, it is not here yet.

i've felt a little....stuck.

being stuck, or feeling that way, is never really a fun thing. you ask God questions (oh so many questions) about your purpose. you ask God why you are here, when you know He wants you there. it is so frustrating to ask those questions and (seemingly) not hear an answer.

the waiting can be simply excruciating. there is no easy way to put it. it is in those times of waiting though, that i've learned the most. i love how God lavishes His love upon us, and that love is filled with grace. there have been so many times that i have complained more than i've listened. but God heard my cries and changed my perspective.

there is such blessing when you allow God to change your perspective. i found myself becoming cynical about my beautiful home country. there is so much going on here that i find myself disgusted most of the time. but God showed me, that just like me going to a different land as a foreigner, there are people, just like me, here in the great ol' US of A.

people who have come from all places! they have come to see family or make a better life for themselves. while my country has a lot of flaws (more than i can count), it has extreme benefits and blessings. blessings that i take for granted, every. single. day.

i have been so blessed by people who don't speak my language. through the laughter and hugs and sometimes awkward drawings of manatees (i'm looking at you Kelly!) there has been such joy that can only come from the Lord. 

they are family. the family i've chosen.

but, in typical God fashion, He doesn't just change your perspective in one area. He changes it in most areas (when i say most...i mean all). 

He sends people to be the: 

iron to your iron.

the file to your nail.

the sugar to your tea. 

the partner to your crimes. (just a little window writing people...don't get all crazy)

it is such a beautiful thing to be surrounded by people who encourage you to grow. they pick you up when you fall, they quit sugar with you. they show you Jesus' love even in correction. they cry and laugh and worship with you. they wanna kick butts when your heart is broken.

family isn't just the people you are connected to by blood. 

there is incredible blessing in allowing God to change your perspective. i am so glad that i chose to surrender control. when i stopped having a pity party for myself, that's when i realized i had nothing to be crying about. 

God has blessed me with a blood family that is supportive and loving. He's given me parents that allowed Him to use me for His glory. crazy and fun siblings...that do sometimes drive me nuts...but that i still love despite that fact. 

but beyond that, He allowed me to be blessed by some really incredible people. people that may as well be my blood relatives. people that don't necessarily speak my language fluently. or have the same color hair or skin as mine. but people who love me. and people that i love so deeply. it is incredible how God can knit hearts together.

i challenge you to loosen the grip you have on your life. give it to God and watch Him work. chances are, you will be so blessed you won't even remember why you complained in the first place.

God always has a plan. we may not see it. and it may not come in the package we are expecting, but God always has a plan. don't miss the blessing because you had your head down. keep your eyes on the Lord and be expectantly waiting for the blessings God will lavish on you.

and He will deliver them. He always does. even if we aren't aware.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

James 1:17

a promise of destruction.

Israel was in deep doodoo…yet again.

i know you're thinking, "what in the world is she talking about?" and let me tell you that recently God has been teaching me a lot. i'm in a very teachable place in my life…not that i wasn't before, but i can readily see where God is teaching me things and every time i am blown away by His goodness and mercy.

Isaiah 13:9-10

And Babylon, the glory of kingdoms, the splendor and pomp of the Chaldeans, will be like Sodom and Gomorrah when God overthrew them. It will never be inhabited or lived in for all generations; no Arab will pitch his tent there; no shepherds will make their flocks lie down there

a rendering of what Babylon looked like

so, like i said…Israel deep doodoo. they had felt the strong hand of discipline of the Lord. throughout this passage, He is telling them that He will exact vengeance on the wicked nations around them.

if you don't know much about Babylon, you need to know it was glorious. situated right between the Tigris and Euphrates rivers, it was lush with green grasses and beautiful gardens. it was also a place where the Lord was definitely not glorified. 

it was the pride and joy of Mesopotamia (middle school throwback anyone?) and was arrogant and prideful. not only that, they were evil and God is always just. can i get an Amen?

so here God is, speaking through Isaiah, promising to wipe Babylon off the face of the earth. what a bold statement. God is about to smite them with all sorts of vengeance and He has every right and reason to do so. now i know you're curious…so to soothe your curiosity, this is a photo of Babylon today.

umm…hello? that is the complete opposite of luscious gardens…

needless to say God exacted His wrath on them, and to. this. day. no one lives in Babylon…just like He promised. its a desert…who would want to live there?

the whole point i'm trying to make is that God is a man of His word. He holds His promises. He keeps them…fulfills them…always. forever. promises of wrath were kept. clearly you can see that from this picture.

if God keeps His promises of wrath…how much more do you think He would keep His promises to His children? i know that there are promises that i cling to. promises of things to come…promises of never being alone. promises of a life full of Him.

as i was reading this truth today, i just kept thanking God for His unending faithfulness. He always remains steadfast when life around me seems to be in confusion. God is steady. constant. there is nothing too big for Him and nothing too small. 

we have all we need in Christ. through Christ, we have everything. in Him we have life.

He. Is. Life.

praise the Lord for that promise! 

Luke 1:45

Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!

How the Orlando Magic taught me about the Body of Christ

Have you ever been somewhere and known, that even though you weren't blood related, you were part of a family?

I love going to watch the Orlando Magic play. There is just something about being in the Amway Center, sitting among fans that, win or lose, are fans for life. My favorite thing to do though, is watch the guys on the bench. 

Call me crazy or weird...tell me "that's not where the action is" until you're Magic blue in the face (see what I did there??), but it is and will always be my favorite thing. There's no changing my mind, so stop trying. On the bench you will see players that are injured or not playing for whatever reason or huffing and puffing after just coming off the court. 

The thing that sticks out to me is they may be injured and out of breath, but they are always cheering on their teammates. Always. 

A bad call is made by the ref, they're all out of their seats yelling. Someone scores, they're jumping up and down for joy. They're talking to each other, smiling, giving secret handshakes...they're being family. 

I know it's basketball...and these are giant (quite literally to my 5'3 self) men...sweaty and gross. But there is something so beautiful about it. Something so grand that it reminds me of how the Body of Christ should be. I'm not always great at cheering on fellow believers. In a highly competitive world, we forget that as the Body of Christ...

we. are. family.

We should act like it. Give secret handshakes. Get mad at injustice against a brother or sister. Rejoice in the successes of our family. We weren't called to go at life alone. We are part of a team.

It doesn't matter if your injured, or just out of the game for awhile, or playing with all your heart, you are still part of a family and have a very specific role to play.

The Orlando Magic could lose every game from here on out (which I'm hoping they don't!) and I would still love going to games. Rain or shine, win or lose, this girl is an Orlando Magic fan for life. And you know why? Because I feel like I'm part of something when I'm there. Part of a family.

I feel the same way being with fellow believers. I know and feel like I am part of something bigger. Something greater.  God didn't promise an easy, pain free life, but He did give us a family...a team, for support and encouragement. He knew there would be days we couldn't make it on our own. A basketball player can hardly win a game by himself...such is true for us as Christians. So, I thank you, Orlando Magic, for reminding me that I'm part of your family, but greater than that, part of the beautiful family of God...for which there is no greater gift.

waffles and lights

it was November 18th. i woke up and did my usual gym, breakfast, bible routine. called my mom (or dad...i can't really remember which one) telling them how nervous i was and that THE meeting was that day. then i messaged Libby (one of the coolest women you will ever meet) the same thing...and headed out the door.

since God has called me back to Madagascar in the near future, i wanted to share my heart with Pastor David and Danny. there is just something about hearing life stories from people...and not just reading them in an email. as i sat in the conference room that day, i didn't know what to expect.

i started off telling Pastor David how Paige and i experienced our own "manna" in the form of waffles. it wasn't a mind blowing story. it was just a dream i had and conversations with Paige about waffles...then God provided...when we weren't even expecting it. its a simple story...God's provision in the seemingly meaningless form of waffles.

then i shared about sweet little Dodona (who isn't so little anymore...according to recent photos) falling asleep in my lap at church. again, God provided a sweet little message that spoke directly to my heart...as He knew it would. i forget the simple stories. they aren't jaw dropping...and that is ok. i think we expect the jaw dropping stories...but in reality God is in every little story in our lives.

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:19

when driving at night, my car's headlights only illuminate so far. i try to see way ahead of me to know where i'm going, but the light only shows me a small piece of the road. isn't that like Jesus? taking us one step at a time. we don't need to see the whole road...we just need to see what's in front of us. Jesus will take us the whole way, but if we were to see the entire road, we might miss the places where we needed His help most.

i can't see the future. i don't know the exact date i will return to Madagascar. i have a time frame i'm  reaching for, but Jesus is only showing me a portion of the road. and you know what? that is certainly ok. i think if i saw the entire plan i would get overwhelmed and stop...because i'm human and a tad of a worrier.

its in the small things that i need to see God working. its in waffles and kids falling asleep in your lap that you can see Jesus. yes, its in the big things too...but in the small things, it makes our great God so much more personal.

Danny said to me before leaving that day, "we are so proud of you." what he didn't know, is that God spoke to me in that moment. it wasn't a life changing statement, people say they're proud of people all the time. what God spoke to me is to have faith in the little things. even while i'm waiting for the next big thing, this matters. being here...it matters. being faithful in everything, well for the sake of sounding redundant, it matters.

so, you, sitting behind that computer or phone....or whatever electronic device...what you're doing matters. allow God to meet you in the small and insignificant places of your life. give Him room to speak to you through silly things like waffles.

little hands and full hearts

the sun came up one Sunday morning. the heat already unbearable…and the dogs were still barking from the night before. i was awake before my alarm…because the sun beamed into my bedroom window. i sat on the edge of my bed, still foggy from sleep (or lack thereof) watching out the window of my bedroom on the 2nd floor.

people walked by. peeking in through the gate in front of our house trying to catch a glimpse of…well, who knows what. women carrying baskets on their heads full of fruit, vegetables, or ducks to sell at the market. barefoot children running up and down the street. the pastor and his family across the street getting ready for church that day.

i climbed down the stairs to gather myself and grab a cup of the greatest coffee i've ever tasted. that coffee was so strong it could put hairs on your chest…if you don't have any that is. i sat down at our semi-broken dining room table with coffee and probably some kind of breakfast item…you know…eggs or something. as i read my Bible, i started to get more and more excited for church that morning.

i was reminded of how i missed church at home. and how i missed friends at home. and air conditioning. i missed worshipping in my native language. and sitting in a pew that didn't make my butt fall asleep. and for the love of all things holy…did i mention AIR CONDITIONING?

i quickly snapped back to reality and went upstairs and finished getting ready for church. as i was standing in front of my fan…trying to decide whether i was going to put my hair in a ponytail or a bun (the struggle…so real)…i heard tiny faint voices calling my name. this was not a usual ordeal, so i walked to the window to see what was going on. low and behold it was some of the kids from the church waiting to walk, hand in hand mind you, with us to church. i think it was their favorite part of the day…and secretly it was mine too.

as we settled into our pews…or small wooden benches…the kids began to stir. see in the US children go to their own class. they are kept away from the service so that the adults can concentrate and are often looked down upon if they are in church service…heaven forbid they make noise! did i strike a nerve?

in our church, the kids were fully involved! they had their own prayers, songs, and even welcomed visitors and celebrated birthdays…all in the service! that day, my sweet little friend Dodona, was rather antsy. i noticed that his mom was busy taking care of his younger brother and his grandma was at home sick. so as he roamed, freely, around the church, i motioned for him to come sit next to me in the pew.

he quickly climbed through, between me and Laura. he sat perfectly still for awhile, then started to lean. further and further he leaned, until he was asleep on my lap. sprawled out…mouth hanging open. i didn't hear a word of what the pastor was saying. all i could pay attention to was this sweet little boy asleep in my lap.

i cry when i think of that moment and how pivotal it was, and still is, to me. it was the moment that i knew God was working through me. it was the moment i knew that it was nothing i had done. the moment that God reached down and touched my heart in a very special way, that only i would understand.

when Dodona woke up, he only wanted to be with me. not even his mom could tear him away. so i held his hand, and we all walked outside to greet the other members after church was over. and even after that, he still had a tight grip on my hand.

have you ever rested in Jesus like that? just fallen at His feet and rested in Him? all i can think about that moment is how i long for the times i'm able to do that with Jesus. isn't that how it should look? so peaceful and comfortable that we are just sprawled out before Him. and shouldn't we cling to His hand like Dodona did mine? there is such joy and peace in just resting in His arms and clinging to His hand.

reach out today. cling to His hand. only He knows where you are going and how you'll get there. rest in His promises. He is faithful and His mercies are new every morning.

every. single. morning.

what i learned in September

here are a few things i've learned in September. Emily Freeman does this at the end of the month...and i love it...so i decided to do it as well! here they are in no particular order!

1. i love to be at Disney in the rain. call me crazy...but it really is so fun! i rode Thunder Mountain in the rain 5 times...and i don't even regret it. i also watched Hanson in the rain...so there's that.

2. i am extremely repulsed by bucket hats and puka shells. just don't do it. around me anyways. heaven forbid someone wear a bucket hat and a puka shell necklace at the same time! just. say. no.

3. change happens. people move. friendships change. but sometimes, i don't like change.

4. itunes got rid of my favorite 3 of a Kind radio station. it was my favorite thing to help me enter the presence of the Lord during my quiet time...and its gone. just like that. (please refer to previous number)

5. conviction comes in many forms. and when it comes, it has the ability to change your attitude completely. that is, if you allow it to. and when you're convicted...you should allow it to change your attitude.

6. my new favorite stores include Nordstrom Rack, Costco, and Ulta.

7. this isn't something i really learned in September...but something i've been reminded of. God is big. He can heal you. He can save (and already has) you. He loves you despite you. He wants all people to know Him. that means everyone....not one person left out! 

8. i cry when Jesus changes lives. (also not something i learned...something that i was reminded of) and when i say cry...i really mean sob. because God is so good. always. can't we agree on that?!

what have you learned in September?

legacy

it was 5 years ago that my pappaw died. i don't really know why this was brought to mind today, but as i had some Jesus time, i realized why.

pappaw died of congestive heart failure, but that is not how i remember him. i remember all the cool sounds he could make. it always blew my mind as a child (and sadly as an adult too) how he did it. he always made the sound of a train whistle. it was so loud! i loved it!

mammaw always made THE BEST homemade biscuits. it was one of two things i loved to eat while visiting...the other being her homemade pecan pie...mmm....my mouth is watering. anyways, those biscuits were the bomb dot com and pappaw knew how much i loved them...and knew that the only thing that was good on top of a homemade biscuit was fresh honey. he always, always, had honey waiting for me when we visited.

on the off chance that i woke up before 11 am on vacation, i would always find him in his recliner. my mammaw would be sitting on the couch next to him. what were they doing you ask? reading their Bibles and drinking coffee. the original hipsters...if you will. despite all his crazy antics, i knew that my pappaw loved the Lord. that is one thing that was unmistakable. his Bible was well worn and used...the mark of someone who treasures and values scripture and the One who inspired its writing.

in my study of Acts, i have reached Stephen. he was a man described as "full of faith" and "full of grace and power." he spoke truth through the power of the Holy Spirit. the man was bold for Jesus for sure. he was stoned for speaking truth and sharing the Gospel...what an awesome testimony!

Stephen left a huge legacy. to this day, he is considered the first Christian martyr. he died doing what he loved and telling people about the One who loved them beyond all comprehension. this got me thinking about the word legacy.

legacy: anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor or predecessor.

you usually hear this word at funerals. i mean...its totally appropriate to talk about someone's legacy at a funeral. but what if we started talking about it before we died? wouldn't it be useful to talk about the kind of legacy we are leaving before we actually leave? 

in 5th grade i had the funniest teacher. he was an awesome teacher and when i reached high school, he passed away from cancer. there is always one thing i will remember about him...he LOVED the song Play that Funky Music. don't ask me why i remember that...but i do. and it makes me laugh every time i hear that song...seeing him walk around the classroom singing it. i don't know what his spiritual condition was, but the legacy he left is forever imprinted in my memory.

i want to be remembered. i want to leave a legacy that matters. i want people to say of me that i was "full of faith" and "full of grace"...something i'm working on. i want to leave more of a legacy than my crazy loud laugh. i want people to know that Jesus loves them because of the life i lived for Him.

i don't have children, but i do know people are always watching...little and big. what kind of legacy am i leaving them? what kind of legacy are you leaving?

*this post is brought to you by a whole lot of conviction in my life*

healing the lame

i've started going through Acts to really spend time with how the church began. i can't say that i've ever spent a great deal of time with Peter, Paul, and the gang in Acts. chapter 3 happens after Peter's big moment at Pentecost. Peter has just lead tons of people to Christ...imagine the excitement surrounding him.

so, chapter 3, Peter and John are going to the temple to pray and they see a man. this man hasn't been able to walk...since birth. he's begging for money and everyone knows him. then Peter comes up to him:

"But Peter said, "I have no silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk."  v. 6

ok. stop and picture this moment...as the lame man. you can't walk...and never have. some man comes up to you and tells you to get up. "this has GOT to be a joke...right? can't you see my legs?" that is what i would have said...but then this happens: 

"And he took him by the right hand and raised him up, and immediately his feet and ankles were made strong. and leaping up he stood and began to walk, and entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God. And all the people saw him walking and praising God." v. 7

holy cow! what a sight that must have been! can you imagine...that person you've always known to have some ailment, suddenly the ailment is gone? gosh, just thinking about what that would be like gives me chills.

he was walking.

he was leaping.

leaping and walking.

walking and leaping.

and praising God. not Peter...God. how easy it would have been to praise Peter...he was the one that healed him, right? not a chance. he was the vessel. the power was (and is) in the name of Jesus Christ. what happens next, well that just hit me upside the head.

Peter starts to tell the crowd, the one i would be standing in...all astonished and amazed, "HELLO! you've seen this before!!" 

conviction. falling. like. rain.

Peter tells this crowd that faith in the power of Jesus' name is what healed this man. how many times do you pray and are amazed when He answers your prayer? whether good or seemingly bad, i am always blown away at God answering my prayers. i know i'm not alone.

when i look at this passage, i'm reminded that i am very small. there is power in His name...and in His name alone. and if you're like me, you are also reminded of your lack of faith. not in Jesus, but in the belief that He is who He says He is and will do what He's promised to do. and that, my friends, is something i'm continually working on. let's all grow our faith. stop being astonished and know, that what you ask for in faith, in the power of Jesus' name, will be fulfilled.