needed.

i know a lot of moms. being a preschool teacher will do that to ya. each day is the same. a child darts through my doorway, leaving mom in the dust. the activities of the day, lunch, and naptime, then its time. the moms reconvene in front of my classroom. kids now dart out the door, leaving me in the dust.

i look at moms. i see the weariness in their eyes. i see a few of their hairs out of place. i hear the exhaustion in their voice. they are needed. they have one, or two, or many little humans dependent on them. to feed them. change them. bathe them. hug them. love them. there is a return to that though. even though there is weariness, i choose to believe that when a child says "you're the best mommy ever" it makes the weariness go away.

how many times, being an adult, do i forget to be dependent on Christ? my goodness. i wish the amount were smaller than it is. i'm so busy running around, darting out and leaving Him in the dust.

but how precious are those times when we do turn to Jesus. when we depend on Him the way we would our mom. to curl up in his lap and just say "you're the best. ever." have you told Him today?

last link up with Write It, Girl! :) 

tough.

life is tough, rough even. things don't go the way you planned. your life doesn't end up the way your 16 year old self pictured it. you think you're not good enough. surely that has to be why things are so bad. you're not smart enough, pretty enough, good enough...the list really could go on and on.

i could tell story upon story of heartbreak that sent me spiraling into the pit of "not good enough." the unfortunate thing is no one in my teen years, my most influenced time, shared the beauty of this verse:

Romans 8:1-4

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you FREE in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

did you read that? i know i'm not alone in the not good enoughs. you, yes you, reading this blog, have probably felt not good enough. well, i am here to tell you that YOU ARE SET FREE! you are good enough. don't worry about the kitchen, it might not clean itself, but you are still phenomenal if its not clean. don't worry about that C you got on a test, you are still smart even if that was your best. and for goodness sakes, you are still beautiful even if "the man of your dreams" doesn't think so. truth be told, he isn't the man of your dreams. but more on that another day.

we are not condemned. life is tough. rough even. but if there is one thing i know, its that God sent his son to take on all the shame, guilt, and not good enoughs you could even think of. we are set free. so stand up, put on some music, and dance! your chains are GONE!

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.

i'm writing with a group of fabulous women! check it out, and join in!

a toe out.

still inching out of the bathroom. for what its worth, i do like the pastel pink walls. reminds me of my grandma's tanish yellow and brown checkered tile bathroom floor. the pink hand towels with lace on the bottom and vintage pictures hanging on the wall. and that ever present bathroom scale....that can't possibly be right.

when i think of changing the world, i usually think of people like Martin Luther King Jr. or Ghandi or Mother Theresa...Jesus. those people changed. the. world. you can look in any history book and find them named. you can look online and find hundreds of thousands of articles, websites, and blogs dedicated to living life in their footsteps. while all are good, only one of those choices is right. true. love.

changing the world can come in the form of the familiar. the train whistle that my grandpa always used to do to "trick" us into thinking it was actually a train. or the way my grandma makes THE BEST pecan pie ever. or the way my mom can rub my arm, no matter how old i am, and i go back to childhood instantly. or the way my dad embarrasses the living daylights out of me and swears its in "the dad handbook" somewhere (whoever wrote that...well....they got that rule wrong).

but in all those familiar things, is love. while my dad may be extremely good at embarrassing me, he does it to see me smile and laugh. that's love (even though i hate it sometimes). Jesus loved, so they loved, and changed my world. Jesus loves, so i love, and that can change someone else's world.

isn't that easy? just love. out of the overflow. love the mess out of people. will you realize you're changing the world? maybe. but goodness, even if you don't realize it, it will be beautiful to hear "well done, my good and faithful servant."

1 Corinthians 13:13

So now, faith, hope and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

i'm linking up for Write It, Girl every monday in November! feel free to join the fun!

i'll be ok.

"if God wants singleness for my life, then i'll be ok. i have to trust His plan is better."

something a fellow SWEET RoLL said after our weekly giggle fest/dessert feast/digestion of scripture Kay Arthur style. i don't know why, but it has stuck with me all week long. i can't shake her words. its a truth that hit me straight to the core.

i've always been secretly afraid (or maybe not so secretly) that God would call me to singleness. and while i know that God give us the desires of our hearts, part of me says "if i want it bad enough, He will give it to me." and i also know, that this thinking is not exactly Biblical. i understand in my head the benefits of being single...one of them being the fact that i would have no time to be attached. i mean, in theory it sounds nice, comfortable, and easy, but my life is just to crazy. doing things God called me to do right here and now are too important.

i wish i could say i was at the complete trust stage. the one where i completely trust that His plan is better. i wish i were there, but i'm not. i can only cling to the promises made in scripture. 

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9

"For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great His steadfast love toward those who fear Him." 

Psalm 103:11

so here's to trusting His plan is better. better yet, here's to believing and knowing that His plan is better than anything i could ever imagine.

opening the bathroom door

hiding in the bathroom, after reading how to change the world,  seems the safest place to be. change alone can be terrifying, but changing the world? that seems like a daunting task. sometimes i feel like God can't possibly be calling me across the world. there is fear that arises in every fiber of my being. they paralyze me.

what will people say?

what will people think?

how will i make it that long?

how long do i stay?

aren't these questions all questions of fear? my goodness! snap it together!

2 Timothy 1:6-8

For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the Gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For the Spirit of God does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self discipline. So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me, His prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the Gospel, by the power of God.

if thats not reason enough, here's another one...

Psalms 139:5

You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.

its as if God is saying, "go ahead, go! whats to lose? i have it here in my hands. so go!" He commands it too! and here i am, hiding in the bathroom? so, here's to opening the door. opening the door to possibility, changing the world, and more importantly, obedience. obedience to the One who knows my sitting and lying, my thoughts and words out of my mouth. why wouldn't i open the door with that kind of assurance?