i've felt a little....stuck.
being stuck, or feeling that way, is never really a fun thing. you ask God questions (oh so many questions) about your purpose. you ask God why you are here, when you know He wants you there. it is so frustrating to ask those questions and (seemingly) not hear an answer.
the waiting can be simply excruciating. there is no easy way to put it. it is in those times of waiting though, that i've learned the most. i love how God lavishes His love upon us, and that love is filled with grace. there have been so many times that i have complained more than i've listened. but God heard my cries and changed my perspective.
there is such blessing when you allow God to change your perspective. i found myself becoming cynical about my beautiful home country. there is so much going on here that i find myself disgusted most of the time. but God showed me, that just like me going to a different land as a foreigner, there are people, just like me, here in the great ol' US of A.
people who have come from all places! they have come to see family or make a better life for themselves. while my country has a lot of flaws (more than i can count), it has extreme benefits and blessings. blessings that i take for granted, every. single. day.
i have been so blessed by people who don't speak my language. through the laughter and hugs and sometimes awkward drawings of manatees (i'm looking at you Kelly!) there has been such joy that can only come from the Lord.
they are family. the family i've chosen.
but, in typical God fashion, He doesn't just change your perspective in one area. He changes it in most areas (when i say most...i mean all).
He sends people to be the:
iron to your iron.
the file to your nail.
the sugar to your tea.
the partner to your crimes. (just a little window writing people...don't get all crazy)
it is such a beautiful thing to be surrounded by people who encourage you to grow. they pick you up when you fall, they quit sugar with you. they show you Jesus' love even in correction. they cry and laugh and worship with you. they wanna kick butts when your heart is broken.
family isn't just the people you are connected to by blood.
there is incredible blessing in allowing God to change your perspective. i am so glad that i chose to surrender control. when i stopped having a pity party for myself, that's when i realized i had nothing to be crying about.
God has blessed me with a blood family that is supportive and loving. He's given me parents that allowed Him to use me for His glory. crazy and fun siblings...that do sometimes drive me nuts...but that i still love despite that fact.
but beyond that, He allowed me to be blessed by some really incredible people. people that may as well be my blood relatives. people that don't necessarily speak my language fluently. or have the same color hair or skin as mine. but people who love me. and people that i love so deeply. it is incredible how God can knit hearts together.
i challenge you to loosen the grip you have on your life. give it to God and watch Him work. chances are, you will be so blessed you won't even remember why you complained in the first place.
God always has a plan. we may not see it. and it may not come in the package we are expecting, but God always has a plan. don't miss the blessing because you had your head down. keep your eyes on the Lord and be expectantly waiting for the blessings God will lavish on you.
and He will deliver them. He always does. even if we aren't aware.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.
James 1:17
